When I made the decision to follow my dreams and become a writer I had grand plans. It was so easy to come up with ideas for stories. I literally had five book concepts within the first week. And when I published the first novel I felt so accomplished. I had proven to myself I could do it despite all the naysayers. But even with that I knew something wasn’t right. Something was definitely off.
It was like this unsettling feeling that wouldn’t go away. “Write for God”, I would sense or “Will that help bring people to Him? Is this talent about your or about what you can do for Him?” It was pretty persistent too. But I have to be honest, despite the urges and unsettling feelings I wasn’t hearing it.
I mean you have to understand. I associate with a lot of non-practicing believers. I say non-practicing because they believe in God, just not all the “extras” that go with believing. You know… going to church, reading the bible, etc. But they do believe there is a God. So for me to devote my writing and speaking career to that alone… That’s really insane! And, I didn’t know what they would think of me. Even more, I guess I wanted them to be proud of me and I knew “Jesus books” wouldn’t do that; only books that they would read and enjoy. So I brushed off the feeling. And in doing so, it seems I may have brushed off the career for a while too.
But I’ve been thinking a lot about why I feel called to write. So it’s time for a change. Gone are the days of women fiction. That’s not my passion. My passion is for Christ. Period. And that’s where I want to be in everything I do. With Christ. Including my writing. So, I am jumping off the ledge. I am letting go of all the fears of judgment. And I am trusting Him to not let me fall.